Hafiz and Farah
A downloadable book for Windows
Hafiz is a immigrant French citizen and devoted Muslim deeply in love with Farah, a fellow immigrant French citizen who is also a belly dancer with interest in learning about Islamic culture. the story follows how their relationship goes from friends to husband and wife in one night.
written by W
proof read by John Healer
art by W made with freelogodesign.org
The "Proof readers" and "writers" are all High School educated and most of them having dropped out the first year of collage. I humbly wish that you forgive any and all grammatical errors.
please read trigger warning first if you have any triggers.
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This is just terrible, in many ways.
how so? Criticisms is a great resource to an artist, so I'm interested in your review.
Je vais écrire en Français, parce que je pense que vous êtes une équipe francophone.
Il y a pleins d'erreurs d'écritures. C'est dû au fait que les phrases sont peut-être pensées en français. Il y a plusieurs tournures de phrases spécifiques au français qui ne passent pas très bien en anglais, ce qui rend la lecture indigeste.
Dans un second temps, cela concerne les TW. J'ai trouvé l'histoire gore pour rien. Je ne sais pas où est-ce que les TW sont censés être mais dans les tags il y à écrit : "dark, short, violent". Je pense qu'il fallait rajouter : gore, blood, explicit sxual content, swearing. Je ne m'attendais pas du tout à lire ce genre d'atrocité.
La cerise sur le gâteau c'est que vous commencez par le nom de Dieu pour finir sur une histoire monstrueuse à souhait. Je ne sais pas si vous êtes musulmans mais dans ce cas sachez que c'est une chose très grave, il faut éviter d'associer Dieu à ce genre de fiction. (dans le cas où vous n'êtes pas musulman cette dernière critique ne vous parlera pas donc je l'ai écrit en dernier)
I'm not French, just bad at spelling. I read a lot of books and one my favorite authors is Richard Wright who died in Paris, so I wanted to put the short story in Paris as a semi-reference to him. Also I tend to put my writing in country's I'm not from for variety's sake. in fact I have full fledge book coming out in a few months here that takes place in Mexico,(this time professionally proof read!)
as for the TWs. I thank you for advice about how to better do them in the future. most books I read don't have any TW so I'm not used to how they normally work. though in the TW I do say there is "erotic content" which I thought covered sexual content.
I am not muslim. in fact the point of the short story is mostly its about Islams views about my LGBT brothers and sisters.
I see.
Ahh, the TW were in another pdf! I didn't check and got direcly to the reading!
Ahh.. so that's how muslims are towards LGBT people ?
Mostly, this started because I didn't check the TW throughoutly which caused me to be trouble by the reading, and which caused me to comment here. In conclusion, I did that to myself.
The majority of Islamic states punish being LGBT with imprisonment or death